Preacher & Divorce

[pitbull]

Over the past few months, I have had about a dozen people ask me if I will ever pastor a local congregation again. When I say, "no". They seem confused. The short answer I give is: "I am no longer Biblically qualified due to my divorce." If they persist, I go into the following to explain it further. These are notes from lessons that I used to teach at a Bible Institute. Please take the time to look over them and see if there is anything I have forgotten. Thanks. I would appreciate any insight that God may have given you from the Word of God.

PASTORS, DEACONS, AND DIVORCE

GENERAL INFORMATION ABOUT DIVORCE
First, a marriage is a lifetime contract and should never be broken. One comes to marriage leaving father and mother and all else. The husband is to “cleave to his wife” [Genesis 2:24; Mathew 19:5]. Of man and wife it is said, “They twain shall be one flesh”. [Genesis 2:21-22] God Himself seals every marriage, making it official and binding. [1 Corinthians 7:39]

Second, divorce for drunkenness, desertion [except for unbelieving spouse], non-support, cruelty, or incompatibility is wicked and forbidden in the Bible. [Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:11] Fornication breaks the marriage and allows divorce. Fornication is sex between two unmarried individuals. Adultery is a person having sex with someone other then his or her spouse. Hence, adultery and fornication are essentially the same act – sexual immorality outside the Biblical boundaries of holy matrimony. We need to remember that divorce is permitted [not commanded] in the Bible [especially in 24th chapter of Deuteronomy] according to three basic guidelines.
1. Divorce was limited to certain causes, namely when there was some moral defect. The other excuses were now invalid. So right away you can see that the Deuteronomy 24 passage was given to *LIMIT* divorce, not to encourage it! The man would now be required to offer proof as to the reason he was divorcing his wife and the reason could no longer be frivolous. He had to prove the charge under the title of uncleanness.
2. The law stated that the man must give her a certificate of divorce. Before, the man simply sent her away and she was at the mercy of the whole nation. There may have been a good reason to put her away but more often than not he had simply grown tired of her and decided that he didn't want to support her anymore. This made it grossly unfair for the woman; the effect was the same as if she had committed adultery. This was very serious because adultery was a sin that was punished by death. If she were charged with adultery, she had no recourse unless her "former" husband came to the rescue. So we can see that the bill of divorcement was to protect the woman because it stated the reasons for her dismissal. With this, she could remarry and carry on with her life.
3. The third thing that the Law of Moses did was to state that a man who had divorced his wife could not marry her again. With the bill of divorcement in hand, she could remarry. Even if her second husband divorced her, she could marry again as long as she had proof that she was truly divorced. She was *free*, the only exception being that she could not marry her former husband. God was showing that divorce was a serious matter not to be taken lightly. It was permanent.

There are also some weighty human and common sense reasons back up God’s command to avoid divorce if at all possible:
1. If there are children in the family, consider their welfare and happiness.
2. Economic disaster often follows divorce.
3. Consider the public disgrace of divorce.
4. Consider the shameful reproach on Christianity, which the divorce of Christians involves.
5. Divorce is the wreck of your own love and happiness.

Third, what if a Christian gets remarried but his/her divorce was unbiblical? Do not break a second marriage. God holds the second marriage binding. To break it would do no good, just harm. [Deuteronomy 24:4; Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5] This also gets into a very good question - should divorced people marry again at all?
1. Scriptural divorce gives a right to remarry; one who has a right to a divorce has a right to remarry.
2. No person should marry a second time if his former marriage has not been broken by fornication (adultery). [1 Corinthians 7:10-11]
3. Those Scripturally divorced have a right to remarry, but not commanded to remarry unless they cannot suppress their sexual desires.
4. Divorced people are not good marriage risks, and should go slow about remarrying.

[pitbull]

DIVORCE AND CHURCH OFFICERS
In 1 Timothy and Titus 1, we find the qualifications for a pastor [bishop, elder] and a deacon. We will never find a man who matches all 100% of these qualifications. These are what the man of God should be striving toward. Unfortunately, some seem to get “hung up” on a single aspect – specifically, the Biblical commandment that the pastor should be "the husband of one wife" (I Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6). This is also reflected in the command for a deacon. Here is a comparison of the KJV Bible with the Byzantine Greek, especially the passages in question.
1 Timothy 3:2
1 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
1 pistov o logov ei tiv episkophv oregetai kalou ergou epiyumei
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
2 dei oun ton episkopon anepilhpton einai miav gunaikov andra nhfaleon swfrona kosmion filoxenon didaktikon
Titus 1:6
6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
6 ei tiv estin anegklhtov miav gunaikov andra tekna ecwn pista mh en kathgoria aswtiav h anupotakta

Here is a look at the specific Greek wording in question:
· miav means “one or first”
· gunaikov means “wife, woman”
· andra means “fellow, husband, man, sir”

The words literally mean a "one woman man." It could apply either to polygamy or a man who divorces his wife and remarries [since this leads to adultery and a form of polygamy]. How would this apply to a divorced man and disqualify him from serving as a pastor or deacon? If a man divorces his wife, then it demonstrates that he has failed in other areas listed in 1 Timothy and Titus 1. Hence he is not disqualified for this one sinful act, but for the other underlying sinful acts and reasons that lead to the divorce. As the Bible teaches, how can a man oversee the flock of God if he cannot oversee his own family and home life? The pastor of a local church is supposed to have a marriage that is to be an example/picture to the congregation and the lost world of the inseparable union of the Church and Christ. This cannot happen if he is divorce and/or remarried.

Of course, there will always be those who will ask “What if…” so that we can get into the relative ethics questions. For example, what about a Christian who has been called of God to preach but was divorced [and perhaps remarried] prior to his salvation? Consider the following Biblical passages:
· “…for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” [Jeremiah 31:34]
· “He will turn again, he will have compassion on us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.” [Micah 7:19]
· “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” [2 Corinthians 5:17]

At the moment of salvation, God forgives and pardons all sins, including divorce and remarriage. The slate is wiped clean in God’s eyes. We forget that God forgave the murderous Saul and used him. Both murder and divorce are sinful. Most people consider murder worse than divorce, yet many Christians do look at it the other way around. We should have the same spirit of compassion and forgiveness that God has.

Here is another common argument that is heard in churches and among Christians. What if the wife was unfaithful to her marriage vows, especially when it deals with adultery? Isn’t the pastor justified to divorce her? Yes, but God has set at least two good examples in the Bible to show that he shouldn’t divorce her if at all possible:
(1) Hosea and Gomer
(2) God Himself and Israel

In neither case was there a divorce, but instead love was demonstrated toward the unfaithful and adulterous partner [false gods on the part of Israel]. The pastor needs to demonstrate this same example for his congregation. He needs to restore him marriage with love and compassion. If he is unable to do this, he should not allow himself into a leadership position in the church, such as a pastor or a deacon.

What if the wife is unsaved and deserts him? First, no preacher or deacon should intentionally marry an unsaved woman. If he did, he would prove to be both disobedient to the Word of God [2 Corinthians 6:14] and lacking in spiritual discernment, and hence unqualified to hold a position of authority and guidance. Also, the wife may have deceived him into thinking she was a Christian [she may be deceived herself]. In that case, it is his responsibility to win her to Christ, not divorce her [1 Corinthians 6:17]. He divorces her rather than trying to win her to Christ, then he has demonstrated a lack of obedience to the Biblical commandment of soul winning as well as compassion for the lost – both are qualities needed in a pastor.

What about unmarried and single preachers and deacons? Some have pointed to the case of Paul being a single man and a pastor. How could that be? Are preachers required to be married? Paul was AGAMOS, unmarried. But in Greek widows and widowers were also commonly said to be AGAMOS, "not currently married". So Paul was "not currently married" when on his missionary journeys. There is something that people also forget besides the grammatical and definition argument.

But to be a member of the Sanhedrin, one had to be married. Paul says that when Christians were condemned to death, “I gave my voice [vote] against them" (Acts 26:10). To cast his vote, he would have to have been a member of the Sanhedrin Council. "Vote" is YHFOS (Psephos). Each councilor had two stones, a white one and a black one. They voted by placing a white stone in the ballot bag for Innocent, and a black one for Guilty. Saul of Tarsus consistently "black-balled" the Christians who came before the Sanhedrin.

Peter was married (Matthew 8:14), and took his wife with him on his journeys (1 Corinthians 9:5). As Paul was always with a male traveling companion, and as he never mentions his own wife, we can conclude that he was probably a widower. She died young and childless. Paul seems to have regarded Timothy as the son he never had (1 Corinthians 4:17; 1 Timothy 1:2, 1:18; 2 Timothy 1:2). Timothy's mother was Eunice, a Christian Jewess (2 Timothy 1:5), but his father was a pagan Greek, which is why Paul had Timothy circumcised (Acts 16:1-3). Paul was his spiritual father-in-Christ, so to speak.

Writing to Timothy and Titus, Paul says deacons and pastors (bishops, overseer) must be a "one-woman man". This can mean "only one wife ever" or it can mean "only one wife at the time". As AGAMOS can mean bachelor or widower (spinster or widow), it appears that "one-woman man" can mean either also. Paul has remained single after his wife’s death and says that others Christians should remain single unless they cannot control their sexual desires (1 Corinthians 6:7-9). Then they should get married (or remarried) to have a legitimate and moral outlet for such desires. This is to prevent the Christian from seeking immoral outlets (physical or mental).

But can a pastor or deacon remain qualified or become requalified to hold such a position of authority. Yes.
1. It may be when the wife dies. According to God, a wife who dies doesn't constitute a "second wife". According to Scripture [Luke 20:35; 1 Corinthians 7:39; etc.], death breaks the bond and the man is devoted to his wife.
2. There is a recommitment of the parties after separation [1 Corinthians 7:11] before the divorce and the marriage is restored.
3. The man is not at fault and the wife abandons him – she seeks the divorce. If she remarries and he has remained single [faithful mentally, emotionally, and physically to his vows], then he is freed from the marriage because she has committed adultery by remarrying.

Even if the man is not able to be requalified, God can still use the divorced man. God can forgive a divorce even if not Scriptural. Such a divorced man can serve as a treasurer, clerk, or another non-leadership role. Any Christian can [and should] share the Biblical account of the Gospel. If the divorced man is called by God to preach, he can still fulfill this calling via teaching a Sunday School class, a bus ministry, street preaching, or other numerous means other than being a pastor or deacon. To be a servant, it is not important to hold a position or title that draws attention to one's self, when there are so many areas of ministry that could keep one devoted to full time work for the Lord. Why does anyone need to covet a position of authority? Instead, they should serve in a non-authoritarian position. After all, the pastor and deacon are supposed to be the highest places of service as well as being an example to the congregation and the lost world. Yet, unqualified men are not treating those as that, but coveted as the spot of “top dog”. This demonstrates a heart that is not qualified to begin with.